Sh!t My Dad Says

• "I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised." 2010/03/06
• "Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." 2010/02/28
• "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed." 2010/02/22
• "There's a word for people like that...No, I'm saying, there's a word and I don't know what it is. I'm not being fucking poetic." 2010/02/18
• "Nah, we don't celebrate it. Don't know who St. Valentine was, don't give a shit, and doubt he wants people screwing in his memory." 2010/02/14