Sh!t My Dad Says

• "War hero? No. I was a doc in Vietnam. My job was to say "This is what happens when you screw a hooker, kid. Put this cream on your pecker." 2010/03/16
• "HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first." 2010/03/10
• "I lost 20 pounds...How? I drank bear piss and took up fencing. How the fuck you think, son? I exercised." 2010/03/06
• "Science and Mother Nature are in a marriage where Science is always surprised to come home and find Mother Nature blowing the neighbor." 2010/02/28
• "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed." 2010/02/22